I have been living this life for many years now. Been too many places to count. Seen so many faces they are beginning to blur. Six of one, half dozen of another, all and all it has been one hell of a ride. They came for me at 11, and my life hasn’t been the same since. Not that I'm bitching mind you. But I do often wonder who I would be, what I would be doing, if They hadn’t. So many interests come and gone. So many different directions that could have been. Regardless, this is what They want, and I accept it, gladly. Kicking and screaming at times, but I guess that is to be expected. They never said it would be easy. As a matter of fact, They specifically said it would be difficult. Very, very difficult. I give thanks for that, for the pain and suffering. The privilege to live this way. Grateful for all given, never asking for a damn thing. I live in my faith. It defines me, makes me who and what I am.
Faith. Easy to talk about. A son of a bitch to live. Faith is one of those things that either is or isn’t. There is no gray. Totally black and white. Either you have faith or you don’t. Either you believe, or you don’t. Not a little, not “well, maybe this piece but not that one.” With faith its all or nothing. Took me many years to get that. I can now say my faith is unshakeable. I give credit to Them for everything. When I lose something, need help with something, have a “sudden” understanding. First thing, I thank Them. I know it came from Them, not me. I ain’t that clever.
This is where I get confused. I see many of my Relatives, who profess faith, yet lack the ability, the initiative or the comprehension to live it. Some don’t live their faith because of fear. Which is one hell of a contradiction. If you believe what is there to fear? Many confuse organized religious practices with spiritual beliefs. That one stupefies me regularly. What the hell? Okay, so someone says they are spiritual, but everything they do is religious. Doesn’t make sense to me. So many are seeking, looking for the direction. So many have found the church, synagogue, temple to be empty. What they need to fill that void simply isn’t there. Duh. Its a building built by men, controlled by men. Of course its empty and hollow. How can anyone find anything more than an echo in an empty building? Usually it turns into a fashion show, or an ego fest. Some figure that out, and turn to the original instructions. The traditional ways of being. Unfortunately they bring all their religious bad habits with them.
Take instructions for example. Eventually you find yourself at a place, with someone who is supposed to be a Leader or Medicine Person. Let me tell you now, there are very, very few real ones walking this rock. Most who say they are with no doubt are absolutely full of shit. The majority of those few that could be are predators. Yeah, I said it. Too many who could be have forgotten what was given was given for the People, not the person. Feeding off those who are starving for some direction, some understanding. Every year its a new crop of the urban confused, wallet in hand looking for the fast track to enlightenment. Freaking depressing. I’ve seen it thousands of times. The conversation usually goes “so and so from such and such told me I had to a) dance for this many years b) go on the hill for this many days c) do this certain ceremony d) make this many prayer ties.” Every time it comes with a price tag. Always,eventually, their phone rings because so and so from such and such needs money. Huh. To me that speaks volumes.
Yes, the real medicine people live very pitiful, humble lives. They have nothing, because they give everything away. However, they always have what they need. Their faith sustains them and they don’t have to ask. For anything. When its needed, its provided. Every time. So that dispenses with the so and so from such and such needing money. If they needed it, and they actually are what they claim to be, it will be provided. Why would they have to ask? I don’t think They want them sitting in the casino wasting the cash you gave them.
The other side of that is the fact that so and so from such and such told you what you had to do. Wait a second, isn’t that person just that? A person. How the hell would they know? Isn’t that exactly like some preacher telling you what you have to do? If its something you are supposed to do, why wouldn’t They tell you? That is the spiritual understanding, isn’t it? That when you begin to live the original instructions, They will come to you, tell you what you need to know, need to do. Most are too anxious, too impatient, to wait and grow. Most want it now, immediately, today. Do you honestly think your mind could handle all that understanding right now? Your head would explode. Its a little at a time, piece by piece. Doing what you are told to by Them, building your faith. This is why it takes years. Why there are Elders.
That in no way discredits visions and dreams. Actually, that is the point. This is Them talking to you. This is Them instructing you. Not so and so from such and such. You being given what you need, as you need it. Then, you find a true interpreter. Someone who isn’t feeding their ego, isn’t feeding off the Relatives. In a sacred place, in a sacred manner. This is how you learn what to do with what was shown. Interpreting your own visions and dreams is a sure way to screw things up. You can't, simply because you will interpret it in a way that suits you. Your interpretation will be biased. You cant make it not biased. So you find someone who truly is, and leave you out of it. Those who really are will, in ceremony, speak with Them on your behalf. Those who are understand it isn’t the person. They leave the human out of it. The interpreter is the telephone and you are dialing them, calling the other side. What comes through are instructions for each individual. Unbiased. This is how you know what the dreams and visions meant. This is how you know what to do with the information. This is how you learn to live the original instructions.
Just because someone is from somewhere, or has a title or position doesn’t make them any more than anyone else. The idea is to make them less. Take everything you think you know and turn it upside down. Those who are true Leaders, Medicine People, they get that. They have nothing, but faith. Their faith is what sustains them, provides for them. They don’t have to ask you for anything. They simply live to serve, and in serving they live. They will be the first to tell you they don’t know. How the hell could they? They are a person, like you, like me, like anyone else. No individual can tell you. It has to come from the other side. It has to come from faith. Either you have it or you don’t. So, who are you listening to? A person, who you provide gambling money to? Or are you really listening to Them? Have you taken what was shown into ceremony? Come to an unbiased understanding? Are you doing what They told you to do, or what another human told you to do?