Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Teach Me Oh Wise One........

Morning Relatives. Once again I get a call late in the evening from yet another member of the urban confused, so twisted and spun up they are frantic. Oh my god, so and so called me and told me blah blah blah and....and.....aaaaaaa! Next thing you know they are packing the sea shell with white sage, running around the house “smudging” EVERYTHING, including the pets, so sure of what the idjit told them. Really? I get you are confused. I completely understand your hunger for a connection the the spiritual. But this scenario? Remember the playground, when little Billy made up some goofy shit and you ran home so convinced, screaming and hollering, telling your parents and all who would listen about the big bad wolf, only to find out you had just been played? Take the above scenario and apply this understanding liberally. Because, at 30ish or 40ish, the same damn thing just happened.

There is something you need to understand. The above scenario would never happen from someone who really is. No medicine person, no real one, will ever call and inform you Spirit instructed them to contact you with some dire warning. Oh, they might know about it. It may have been shown to them. But they ain’t calling you. Ever. No tweets, no text. They wont contact you through Facebook and email. They keep what they know to themselves, waiting on you.

This is not a tribal specific understanding, it is an indigenous one. Across the board, regardless the Nation you may be descended from or affiliated with. Too many confuse religion and spirituality, and believe me, neither the two shall ever meet. There is no unification of the two, because the two are absolute polar opposites of each other. What some are doing is deifying an individual. Simply replacing the preacher with the medicine man. One person, in complete control, instructing you on everything you need to know to exist. As if they knew the answers. So many line up for their daily dose of delusion, and follow so willingly the direction of someone just as confused as they are.

It does not matter how thick headed, how bone headed you are. Regardless how devoid of any spiritual understanding you may be. Do you honestly believe They would have to go to a third person to tell you? Do you perceive Them as so weak They have to tell someone to tell you? The Ancestors, beings so old your mind simply has no capacity to understand Their age. If They want to speak to you, They will find a way to get through your knot head. Somehow, some way They will tell you what you need to know. Not through another person. Certainly not the fool who just called you on the phone and scared the crap out of you. That is an idiot who is feeding their own ego, convincing you of crap that has no more substance than what they are full of.

When They want you to know something, They will tell you. Personally. Specifically. To your face. Some how, some way, They will instruct you. If, when this happens, you do not understand what has been shown to you, this is when you contact the Elders and the Medicine People. If what has been shown to you has been shown to them, this is when they will tell you. The next step is to take what has been shown to you into ceremony. In this way they create a Sacred Place, bringing you before that which has spoken to you, in such a way as They can explain what They want you to know. The Medicine Person is simply there to facilitate. Basically, they are the telephone. You are dialing the person, to speak to Them. To provide clarity of what ever it is They want you to know. 

The next time some fool contacts you with “sacred knowledge you just have to have”, start laughing. Then show them the door. When the special ones call, or tweet, or email or whatever else goofy crap, hang up the phone or delete it. Then start laughing. The deluded depend on your confusion to feed their insanity. However, if you insist on feeding the ego of the small minded, allowing them the luxury of ruling your life, by all means, go right ahead. Believe the most outlandish of fairy tales. Strap that leash back on and permit them to drag you through their hallucination. Or, the next time someone presents themselves as “insert title here”, tell them to prove it. You might be amazed at what happens next. Or more precisely, what doesn’t happen.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Change Your Own Damn Oil!

Anyone else ever realize something and then realize everyone else already knows that? Somehow you managed to go through your whole life, oblivious to what appears obvious. Happens to me all the time. My presumption is, because I have been alone most of my life, with little to no, mostly no, parental or maternal guidance, I missed out on a whole lot of things most folks simply take for granted. With no elders to instruct or grandparents with the wisdom of years to share, I have been left to my own devices, trying to make sense of things apparently known to the rest of my cognitive species. Makes me wonder how I have made it to almost 50. Then I look around me and realize I'm not the only one. There are many more exactly like myself. Millions of us, clueless, bumbling through this existence, zero guidance offered or even available. I'm amazed we haven’t blown up the factory yet.

My mind being what it is, I simply cant just leave something alone. If something makes no sense, you can guarantee I will regurgitate it until it does. Or at least make sense to me. Never could simply accept anything. So what if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck? Doesn’t mean its a duck. Might be a platypus. Rest assured, I will reach deep into that fount of unknowing and drag it to the surface, all wet and wiggling, and shake it and poke it until I'm damn sure its a duck. Or a platypus. I have this annoying tendency to use my head for something besides a hat rack. I admit, thinking for myself has landed me in the soup more than once. But I feel so much better about myself when I do. Yes, that was heavy sarcasm.

So here is one that has been slapping around in my cranium for a few decades. I've heard it numerous times, from thousands of sources, and it hasn’t added up. A medicine person, or a holy person, will never tell you they are. Will never admit to it. Okay, why? The common answer given is humility. The prevailing understanding that to hang a title on oneself immediately nullifies the position. Okay, that makes sense. Sort of. However, isn’t that redundant? If an individual is chosen to live such a responsibility, wouldn’t they first have to prove they are a humble person? How could an arrogant, self involved individual be tapped to fulfill such a demanding role? Granted, this makes the assumption that a) there is something more than what can be physically quantified and b) that something has a vested interest. Therefore, if that something does exist, and does have an interest, would that something not look for those who could live a humble existence, not interested in fame, fortune, titles and notoriety? Yes, there are many, especially today, who claim to be. However, even a cursory glance proves they are completely full of shit. Their claims are nothing more than delusions of grandeur; usually attempts at being what they wish they were, due mostly to lack of confidence and self esteem.

When you think about it, something doesn’t add up. Why wouldn’t someone admit to it, if they were? Not referring to those who think they are, but the real ones. It seems such a beautiful way to be. Granted, they aren’t broadcasting it to the high heavens, but if asked, why not smile a beatific smile and nod, exuding a knowing instantly perceived as true? A life spent in service to all of existence, giving completely of themselves, a life of total self sacrifice and altruism? Why are the real ones so damn surly? Whats with the cranky, go away you're annoying me attitude? Having traveled extensively, I have had the unfortunate displeasure of meeting a few real ones. By and large, they're assholes. Don’t get me wrong, they are great people. Warm, loving, caring, compassionate. Beautiful people really. But assholes. At the same time. Especially when it gets around to them doing what they do. What gives here? I come to you, supplicating, needing what you have been gifted, and you’re treating me like something you scraped off your shoe? The math makes no sense.

Well, try this on for size. You have a need, they have a way for that need to be satisfied. A healing, knowledge, direction. Whatever. But, for everything taken, something must be given. If nothing else, balance prevails. That law appears to be universal. I've seen it everywhere, in every situation. Regardless of where I have been or am, regardless the situation. Balance is always reasserting itself. The one unequivocal, undeniable truth. With that said, there then must be balance here to. When that logic is applied, things begin to make a little more sense. You need fixing. They can help. However, someone has to take it in the teeth. In other words, there is an ass whipping due. You are going to get the good stuff. They get the ass whipping. For you. Balance. You think after thirty or forty years they might get a little cranky? You think they might get a tad bit surly when someone brings a problem about as serious as a broken fingernail? Waaaa, I got a boo-boo. What? They are supposed to take an ass whipping for something you could fix your damn self if you just got off your ass and did it?

Look at it this way. Somebody you know is a pretty good mechanic. Doesn’t work as a mechanic, but they are as good, most of the time better, than anyone certified at the local dealership. However, they don’t tell anyone. Why? Because if they did everyone would be beating on their door, asking them to fix their car. For free. Eventually, that shits going to get annoying as hell. Even more so when its something simple, like changing the oil. Anyone can do it. Most are too damn lazy. With that box of crayons, now the platypus is starting to look like a duck. Here is someone who can assist you, will assist you, but dammit make it something serious, okay? Otherwise, change your own damn oil.

Most understand the person cant do a damn thing. They are just a person. However, that something that has a vested interest can. Modern science is always trying to figure out how things like cancer, diabetes even aids can be cured in traditional ceremonies. What they never realized is it isn’t the ceremony, or the individual presiding over it. What is curing the incurable is that something. That intangible unknowing. The individual presiding is only a conduit. That individual is all too aware of that fact, and just as aware there is going to be a price to pay. Just as aware they aren’t going to get paid. When the bill comes due its their ass. For me, that puts things into a whole new perspective.

If you need, go. There are real ones. Good luck finding them. Even better luck dealing with them. Or being dealt with by them. Remember what it is going to cost them to help you. If it is something you can do on your own, do it. If not, think long and hard before asking. Contemplate deeply on what it is going to cost. Not you, them. What are you asking them to suffer, all on your behalf? Are you so willing to put someone through that much pain? This rant isn’t to keep anyone away from those who are real. Quite the opposite actually. The idea here is for you to come to a better understanding the consequences. In this push button, give it to me now society, the consequences of our actions are rarely, if ever, considered. So yes, go. But, remember what you are going to put them through. Maybe it isn’t too much to offer a bit of tobacco, a little food, hell even a thank you. That is, of course, if you don’t have a hold of a platypus.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Welcome to your Meat Suit

Some time has passed since I last wrote. Much has happened in that time. Some good, some ugly, but that’s life, isn’t it? Regardless how beautiful the field, go far enough and eventually you will step in a pile of crap. This leaves you with two choices. Rant and rave, pissed off over something you never had control of in the first place or scrape off the poo and move on. If you're fortunate, maybe you will find a creek to rest beside, washing off the remnants, to where your misadventure becomes nothing more than a bad memory. In time, that too will fade.

On and on we go, traversing valleys and precipices, on this journey called life. One certainty presides over us all. No one gets out alive. From my perspective, that's a good thing. Seventy or so years of this is enough. Immortality would be a curse. A never ending cycle of highs and lows, with time inexorably speeding up each year. By two hundred it would seem each day was passing in a blink. Enough to drive anyone mad. A great movie I watched on this subject, “The Man From Earth”. Well worth the watch if you have the time. Some believe death to be the bane of human existence. As though it is something to be feared. I see death as the ultimate gift. A gift to be welcomed, and looked forward to. Not to infer I am suicidal. I deeply appreciate this gift of life, and the privilege to experience reality in this form. However, I do look forward to it ending.

It has always been my understanding what you do today is what matters. Living life remembering life allows a person to stagnate. Stuck in the past, reliving traumas that never healed. Never becoming all one was created to be. One thing I have learned, the past lives only if you continue to feed it. Remembering the torments and tormentors, giving them status and presence, as though they remain in existence. Reanimated corpses of long dead agony. Ethereal ghosts of the mind. To exorcise these demons is the simplest of processes. Let them go. Yet many define their existence by these events. Missing the experience of being human by allowing an experience while being human to contain them. No one said this was going to be easy. If it were anyone could do it.

Some live their lives imagining their lives. Dreaming of what they may become. Never fully realizing who they are. So caught up in the dream of what they may yet one day achieve. Struggling so hard to be more, to have more. To become something they do not need to be to impress those they don’t want to be. All the while their lives pass them by. Moments like drops of rain, washing away each experience squandered. Interestingly, they never seem to get there. That far off horizon never reached. Until that final moment, when its time to go, realizing all that was missed. Too late to turn back.

One other option I have witnessed are those whose lack of self esteem and sense of self drives them to live their imagination. Before the advent of the internet, this was a rare occurrence, and typically society at large noticed these individuals and gave them a comfy place to live, complete with padded walls and nice people in white coats to care for them. An existence perpetually medicated, unquestionably deluded. “I'm Napoleon!” Of course you are. If you will step this way we have just the place for you to conquer.

Now exists all the tools necessary to become anything one can imagine. To create for themselves an entirely new persona, history and even physical appearance. Some go so far as to actually believe their imaginations, and then transfer that imagination to the real world. Living life so deluded they forget who they really are. Demanding the populace at large accept them as what they imagine themselves to be. So caught up in their fantasy they have given their fantasy life, fully expecting all to accept their fantasy as well. Dr. Frankenstein would be in awe of the monsters some have created.

Some of the more absurd I have seen are those who proclaim themselves Native American. Really? Look at yourself. Look at true First Nations People. Do they look like you? In any way? The color of their hair and eyes, shape of nose, mouth and face. Does anything of their countenance look anything like yours? It is one thing to be genetically Native. To be a descendant of the First Nations People. Hell, after 500 years or so of European occupation, mix marriages and of course all the Cherokees who traveled the continent banging everyone’s great grandmother, I expect most everyone who can trace their linage back a few generations will find an Indian in the woodpile. That however, does not make you “Native American”. There is a vast difference between being genetically Native, and being culturally Native. If I have to explain the difference, you would never understand it. Nor would you accept it. It is astounding the lengths some will go to in order to defend their delusion. In my travels I have heard the most outlandish of stories used to defend pale skin, blonde hair and blue eyes. I cannot tell you how many times I have had someone stand before me, so obviously of English, Irish, French, Scandinavian and Asian descent, demand I accept their ludicrous lamentations of being Native American. Fools like this may as well don a pirate costume and exclaim arrgh! all day. You look as foolish, and yes, everyone is laughing at you. Do you get how ridiculous you sound when you walk into a room, blonde hair and blue eyes, and make the declaration of being “Native American?” You really are embarrassing yourself. And providing comic relief to some of the more cynical, like myself.

Riddle me this, oh special one...what the hell is so wrong with being who you are? If you're white, be proud to be white. Or black or yellow or purple with green polka dots for that damn matter. There are two species of human, with four subgroups in each species. Be proud of you. Obviously, if you have a belief in a higher power, that higher power made you what you are. Therefore, are you so petulant, arrogant and pretentious to inform that higher power it was wrong? Doesn’t that mind set immediately nullify your higher power? How can it be a higher power if it is fallible? Isn’t the concept of infallibility indicative of a higher power? Or is that to logical and I, along with the rest of the world, am supposed to believe you were Pocahontas in a former life, you're immortal and are simply continuing your existence?

Most existing in their pit of self delusion are harmless. Well, maybe to themselves and a few in their families, but to the world at large they have little to no effect. Others however cause irreparable damage. Certainly those who portray themselves as Native American teachers and leaders. Accepting and initiating invitations from those who know no better in order for them to pontificate their delusions. South Park recently aired an episode. I liked to have passed out laughing when introduced as a Native American in walked the stereotypical white guy with a headband. Watch the episode, then look at the fool you invited to teach the children all about Indians. Sound familiar? The last woman I dated actually pulled out a book about Frank Fools Crow and proceeded to inform me, based on her perception that book was an instruction manual, on how I am supposed to conduct myself. The incredulous look on my face should have been enough. The real nut buster? She was a mental health professional! Let that sink in a moment, I'll wait.

OK, on we go. Still with me? Good. You know who is real good at playing Indian? Indians. When all you have to feed your family is the knowledge of culture, many see that knowledge as a commodity. And there are thousands upon thousands oh so willing to buy. Leave the rez, become a God. Or stay on the rez, because every year there will be a new crop of the urban confused more than willing to open their wallets and dispense every dime they don’t have for all that spiritual knowledge. Many know there is no substance to what they are buying, yet they continue to support it for fear of not having it. Even if it is hollow and empty, convinced its acceptable. Watching as women are abused, children broken, their men emasculated. Accepting what they know is blatantly wrong because the individual they are deifying has claimed to be a medicine person, head man of a non existent society they made up in their minds or some other foolish nonsense. These individuals know all the right words, can imitate all the right gestures. Some have even convinced themselves they are what they pretend to be. On and on it continues, eroding the very fabric of the culture they are selling, until all that exists is a facade of what once was.

A true Holy Person would never reveal themselves today. This society, those so convinced of what is or isn’t, would crucify them. Many times I have witnessed the Sacred reveal itself. Sad to say, I have had the unfortunate displeasure of watching as the Sacred was used to defile the Sacred. Like petulant children, “I didn’t want that color!” This circle attacking that circle. One claiming to be, while denigrating the next. If Christ himself walked through the door most would put a bullet in him. And exactly like children at Christmas, so busy playing with the box they ignore what was in it.

Here is how this works. The person chosen is the box. Chosen, not those who choose for themselves. They are the receptacle the power is housed in. They are simply a human, like anyone else. No magic powers, no special gifts. Just a person, acting the fool, being human. Until ceremony. Then the human steps aside, the box is opened and out comes the gift. The power. These unfortunate few are exceptionally difficult to find. Living a life of abject poverty, in constant misery and sadness. Knowing their lives are no longer theirs to live. Understanding as much as they are capable that they are now nothing more than a box. Waiting for someone to come and open them. Only to return to a life of torturous loneliness. But wait mr. hawk, that’s not how the books and movies portray it. Its all love and light, warm and fuzzy, with group hugs and effusive accolades. Everyone gets a trophy. If you will indulge me a second? Please return to a previous exercise. Find a mirror, look deeply into your eyes. Now, tell yourself, “I am an idiot.” Rinse and repeat as necessary until comprehension dawns.

True healing hurts. A lot. Any medical professional will tell you, and I am certain you have heard at least once, it has to hurt before it gets better. Do you honestly think it is any easier spiritually then it is physically? Traumas that have existed for 20 or 30 years, being forcefully ripped out of you. Nothing about that suggests warm and fuzzy, unless of course your into that sort of thing.

I guess the point to this rant is be you. Whatever you were created to be. Obviously, there is a point to you, or you wouldn’t exist. Yes, you are a little snowflake, unlike any other snowflake that has been or ever will be. In all of time, that ever existed or ever will exist, there is and only ever will be, one you. How freaking cool is that? So why in all that is sacred would you want to be someone or something else. That robe you wear, the flesh, your meat suit, its the only one. Okay, so it isn’t perfect. It has flaws and discrepancies. But then, isn’t it supposed to? If you believe you were created, not hatched, then you were created to be exactly what you are. What happened, happened. Use it for beauty, instead of wallowing in it and emanating the ugliness of it. Find a way to turn ugly into beauty. Don’t worry so much about what you might be. Hell, you probably wont ever become it, and if you did you probably wont like it. You were made to be exactly what you appear to be. Yes, we all want to be more. But more shouldn’t be different. More should be better. So ask yourself, is what you are better?

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Water Balloons

So, here is one for you. Many times I have folks come to me. Tell me the goofiest crap. Many come and tell me all they know about everything, and want to instruct me on all they know. As if I'm a dumb ass and I should fall all over myself because this numbnuts standing in front of me chose to impart upon me their great and celestial wisdom. Yeah, right. Up until a few years ago they were hanging out in the bars raising hell and not giving a damn about anything spiritual. One day they woke up, started learning and less than five years later, they got it all. Well, ain’t that special? Personally I don’t ever want to be that special. Sounds like way too much responsibility to me.

Basically what they are saying is they have learned it all. Applying this push button self service give it to me now way of life most exist in today to a spiritual understanding. One day they woke up and ta da! Instant enlightenment. Some folks are just out of their ever loving minds. Does anyone think for one second anyone could handle that comprehension immediately? Imagine your mind as a 2 liter pop bottle. Now instantly fill it with all the water in the oceans. What do you think is going to happen to that bottle? Yep, it would explode. And so would your mind. Pop like a water balloon. Remember when we were kids, filling balloons with water? We had to get the pressure just right. Invariably we always broke one or two, filling them too fast or too much. Slowly, just a trickle, until enough water had created the perfect bomb to drop off a second story window on some unsuspecting childhood companion. This is spiritual understanding. You are the balloon.

Another side of this is I hear how folks want to see things. Come into lodges and ceremonies, desperately seeking to see. Did you forget about the other 4 senses? Sometimes you will see Them. Maybe you will smell them, taste them (that one is always weird), hear them, feel them. We have a tendency to expect Them to do what we want. Come in a way we want. Ha, like that is ever going to happen. They come Their way. Our responsibility is to put away our preconceptions and let Them show us. That's a tough one for many.

Into this conversation, lets insert Elders. Folks who “woke up” in their 30's or 40's and are now in their 80's and 90's. They have had many years to let that trickle of understanding fill them to the right consistency and volume. Now they can be dropped on some unsuspecting fool, exploding understanding all over them. Years they have spent, learning to perceive Them as They chose to show Themselves. Through sight, touch, taste (still weird), sound, smell.

Into all of this stew of course is religion. The word of itself makes me hack. A few special folks, organizing spiritual understanding into a dogmatic form, telling everyone how it is and how they should do it. Really? Don’t think so. That perception has of course tainted traditional understanding as well. Many times I've had folks tell me so and so is a medicine person and I have to do what they tell me. According to this “medicine person”, Creator came to them and told them to tell me I had to do this, that and the other. Huh. Why did Creator tell them? Why not tell me? Regardless of how thick headed I might be, I'm sure an entity older than time itself can come up with some way of getting my attention. It would seem to me the Elders, the true Medicine People, their responsibility is to guide me in what was shown to me. Assist me in completing the task asked of me. Not standing there telling me what I have to do.

See, I'm not much good at following other folks. When someones steps up and says God told me to tell you, I'm immediately skeptical. So, God told you huh? Prove it. If this person is what they say they are, that shouldn't be a problem. If God gave them the ability to hear what the rest of us can't, I'm sure God gave them the ability to prove it. Are they so much better than the rest of us only they can hear God? Remember, your experiences made you who you are. Their experiences made them who they are. You aren’t them, they aren’t you and I’m pretty sure you both see the picture differently. Unless they can spread wings and fly or do something just as dramatic, it would seem they are just a person, like anyone else. Therefore, if they are just another human like the rest of us, where do they get off telling us what God said? Sounds like an ego trip to me.

Remember, its only a trickle. Just a little water, filling up the balloon that is your mind. None of us can handle instant understanding. Your head would explode. Just because someone says they are something doesn’t necessarily mean they are. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Simply because a person tells you to do something doesn’t mean you have to do it. If God, Creator, Tunk'sila, what ever name you choose to apply to that entity wants you to do something, I'm pretty sure that entity will find a way to tell you. I don’t think that entity has to go to another person to go to you. Why would there need to be a middleman?

Trick is, after They come to you, tell you something, now what the hell do you do? Too many idiots out there who think they are what they ain’t. Now your left with a revelation, and no clue as to what to do with it. Unfortunately, there aren’t many true Elders and Medicine People who can guide you, assist you, in what you need to do. Here is a suggestion. Bring it to who you think you should. If that person gives you some long drawn out flowery explanation, don’t do it. What you need is the one who sits there and when you ask them what you are supposed to do, their response is they don’t know. When they say lets take it into ceremony and see what They have to say about it, you're probably talking to the right person. About the only way I have seen where it works out. Then it isn’t the person telling you what to do, its Them. The other side, who spoke to you in the first place. Makes more sense to get it straight from the source than through another human. But, it is each individuals choice. Guess there are folks too afraid to do it themselves, they have to have someone tell them how to do it. Of course, there are those who think of themselves so highly they need folks who are afraid, so they can tell them what to do and feel superior. The only thing that scares me is Them. That and humans who think they are special.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Faith...Now There Is A Thought.....

I have been living this life for many years now. Been too many places to count. Seen so many faces they are beginning to blur. Six of one, half dozen of another, all and all it has been one hell of a ride. They came for me at 11, and my life hasn’t been the same since. Not that I'm bitching mind you. But I do often wonder who I would be, what I would be doing, if They hadn’t. So many interests come and gone. So many different directions that could have been. Regardless, this is what They want, and I accept it, gladly. Kicking and screaming at times, but I guess that is to be expected. They never said it would be easy. As a matter of fact, They specifically said it would be difficult. Very, very difficult. I give thanks for that, for the pain and suffering. The privilege to live this way. Grateful for all given, never asking for a damn thing. I live in my faith. It defines me, makes me who and what I am.

Faith. Easy to talk about. A son of a bitch to live. Faith is one of those things that either is or isn’t. There is no gray. Totally black and white. Either you have faith or you don’t. Either you believe, or you don’t. Not a little, not “well, maybe this piece but not that one.” With faith its all or nothing. Took me many years to get that. I can now say my faith is unshakeable. I give credit to Them for everything. When I lose something, need help with something, have a “sudden” understanding. First thing, I thank Them. I know it came from Them, not me. I ain’t that clever.

This is where I get confused. I see many of my Relatives, who profess faith, yet lack the ability, the initiative or the comprehension to live it. Some don’t live their faith because of fear. Which is one hell of a contradiction. If you believe what is there to fear? Many confuse organized religious practices with spiritual beliefs. That one stupefies me regularly. What the hell? Okay, so someone says they are spiritual, but everything they do is religious. Doesn’t make sense to me. So many are seeking, looking for the direction. So many have found the church, synagogue, temple to be empty. What they need to fill that void simply isn’t there. Duh. Its a building built by men, controlled by men. Of course its empty and hollow. How can anyone find anything more than an echo in an empty building? Usually it turns into a fashion show, or an ego fest. Some figure that out, and turn to the original instructions. The traditional ways of being. Unfortunately they bring all their religious bad habits with them.

Take instructions for example. Eventually you find yourself at a place, with someone who is supposed to be a Leader or Medicine Person. Let me tell you now, there are very, very few real ones walking this rock. Most who say they are with no doubt are absolutely full of shit. The majority of those few that could be are predators. Yeah, I said it. Too many who could be have forgotten what was given was given for the People, not the person. Feeding off those who are starving for some direction, some understanding. Every year its a new crop of the urban confused, wallet in hand looking for the fast track to enlightenment. Freaking depressing. I’ve seen it thousands of times. The conversation usually goes “so and so from such and such told me I had to a) dance for this many years b) go on the hill for this many days c) do this certain ceremony d) make this many prayer ties.” Every time it comes with a price tag. Always,eventually, their phone rings because so and so from such and such needs money. Huh. To me that speaks volumes.

Yes, the real medicine people live very pitiful, humble lives. They have nothing, because they give everything away. However, they always have what they need. Their faith sustains them and they don’t have to ask. For anything. When its needed, its provided. Every time. So that dispenses with the so and so from such and such needing money. If they needed it, and they actually are what they claim to be, it will be provided. Why would they have to ask? I don’t think They want them sitting in the casino wasting the cash you gave them.

The other side of that is the fact that so and so from such and such told you what you had to do. Wait a second, isn’t that person just that? A person. How the hell would they know? Isn’t that exactly like some preacher telling you what you have to do? If its something you are supposed to do, why wouldn’t They tell you? That is the spiritual understanding, isn’t it? That when you begin to live the original instructions, They will come to you, tell you what you need to know, need to do. Most are too anxious, too impatient, to wait and grow. Most want it now, immediately, today. Do you honestly think your mind could handle all that understanding right now? Your head would explode. Its a little at a time, piece by piece. Doing what you are told to by Them, building your faith. This is why it takes years. Why there are Elders.

That in no way discredits visions and dreams. Actually, that is the point. This is Them talking to you. This is Them instructing you. Not so and so from such and such. You being given what you need, as you need it. Then, you find a true interpreter. Someone who isn’t feeding their ego, isn’t feeding off the Relatives. In a sacred place, in a sacred manner. This is how you learn what to do with what was shown. Interpreting your own visions and dreams is a sure way to screw things up. You can't, simply because you will interpret it in a way that suits you. Your interpretation will be biased. You cant make it not biased. So you find someone who truly is, and leave you out of it. Those who really are will, in ceremony, speak with Them on your behalf. Those who are understand it isn’t the person. They leave the human out of it. The interpreter is the telephone and you are dialing them, calling the other side. What comes through are instructions for each individual. Unbiased. This is how you know what the dreams and visions meant. This is how you know what to do with the information. This is how you learn to live the original instructions.

Just because someone is from somewhere, or has a title or position doesn’t make them any more than anyone else. The idea is to make them less. Take everything you think you know and turn it upside down. Those who are true Leaders, Medicine People, they get that. They have nothing, but faith. Their faith is what sustains them, provides for them. They don’t have to ask you for anything. They simply live to serve, and in serving they live. They will be the first to tell you they don’t know. How the hell could they? They are a person, like you, like me, like anyone else. No individual can tell you. It has to come from the other side. It has to come from faith. Either you have it or you don’t. So, who are you listening to? A person, who you provide gambling money to? Or are you really listening to Them? Have you taken what was shown into ceremony? Come to an unbiased understanding? Are you doing what They told you to do, or what another human told you to do?

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Men & Women....What A Combination!

Male and female. Has there, is there, will there ever be anything more polar opposite of each other? Yet, at the same time, anything more compatible? Weird how that works. Or is supposed to work. The perfect balance, created by two becoming one. Neither inferior or superior. Together all that is becomes again all that ever was, ever could be. The advent of organized religion has been the catalyst for the destruction of that union. Simply my opinion. Doesn’t mean I'm wrong. Doesn’t mean I'm right. Just my opinion.

Where are the Grandmas who were able to teach women how to be women? Today we have Grandmas at 30. What could a 30 year old teach a 15 year old? She is still a child herself. It takes years, decades of life to learn wisdom and how to pass on that wisdom. In my travels I see many families. Some good, some bad, some absolutely pointless. Together to torture each other relentlessly. Surely, there must be more to life than that? So many settle for what they can get. Not waiting for the one who takes their breath away. Impatiently turning to the first who takes them away from their perceived horrible life only to enter into another version of the same damn thing.

What kicks me in the left one is women have forgotten how much power they wield. We look to our Mother, the Earth and the example she sets. All exists become of her compassion, generosity and love. With no prejudice or discrimination, our Mother provides for all. Never asking, never bullying. Her power is there. No explanation need be given. The obvious is blatantly apparent. Women are a microcosm of her. Each home, each marriage, each family a branch of the Tree of Life, sustained by each woman. She who gives life to us all.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe that is the problem. So many see so little, when the obvious is glaring. Women give life. Not just physical life but emotional life, spiritual life. Not aggressively, with force or abuse. Simply there, no question need be asked. Her power is all encompassing, giving life to her world. Her home, her family, her man. Without her, their world, all that is, wouldn’t exist. Yet I listen as so many say the most horrible of things about their home, even with the man who provides them all they need in the same room with them. Incredulously I watch, listen. Stupefied I see the beauty that surrounds them they are so blind to.

In all fairness, some women should be telling their man how bad things are. Men after all are simplistic creatures. To keep a man happy is the easiest of tasks. Feed us, have sex with us, be our friend. Do that and we will break ourselves in pieces to make you happy. Comes down to it, men are basically big dogs. Some women married poodles. Some chihuahua, some pit bulls. A few unlucky ones have found themselves a coy-dog. Nothing but a coyote pretending to be something else. A predator posing as a house pet. If that’s what you are living with, time to trade it in for a new model. Any man, and I repeat any man, who consciously, willing, hurts a woman, for any reason, deserves to have a hole stomped in him. There is never an excuse to physically or emotionally hurt a woman. That does not prove how much of a man you are. It proves exactly the opposite. Look deeply into the nearest mirror, and feel shame. Know shame, see shame, because you are shame. You disgust every real man who sees you.

I could go on for pages about the bad ones. God knows there are enough of them out there. Everyone does, so I'm going to go in a different direction. If you have a good man, who provides for you, your family, hang on with everything you have. He is giving you a home, food on the table, clothes for your children. He is a man who knows how to be a man. Gets out and gets it done. If the best you can do is bitch at him about how terrible life is, you may want to sit back and reevaluate things. Remember one thing, if you don’t want him, I promise one of your sisters does. She sees what he does for you. She is well aware of how good a man he is and is biding her time, waiting for the moment. She will take him, and the only one to blame is yourself. Find a good man, treat him like shit, run him off and then pat yourself on the back for a job well done. Seems something is a smidge bit off with that picture.

Many women were raised in these types of families. The circle perpetuating itself. Now you find yourself married to a lump on the couch who wont work if you gift wrapped a job and handed it to him. You may want to see about showing him the door. Its his job to provide. To ensure you have what you need, what your children need. Anyone working at any company doesn’t do their job, they get fired. If the best he can do is hurt you, take from you, feed off of you, well, fire his ass. Then go find a real man, a pit bull who doesn’t apologize for being a man. One who understands his responsibility and jumps out of bed everyday to meet it. Then do your job as a woman. Not because you feel like you have to. Because you want to. Together, working as one, creating again all that is. Amazing.

Remember, you are in complete control. As a woman, you have all the power. With great power comes great responsibility. Wield that power wisely. Look to our Mother to guide you. She will teach you all you need to know. Then, see the beauty that is all around you. Speak of that beauty to him. Let that man know you appreciate and are grateful to him for all he does for you. I promise, you live this way, the beauty will constantly replenish itself. Your world is in your hand. If you keep painting it with an ugly brush, it will remain ugly. Remember when you first saw each other? Remember the first time you looked into each others eyes? That warm rush that came over you? That feeling that took the breath from you, left you gasping for air? Remember the fist time you shared yourself with each other, and the moments afterward? Do you remember what love felt like? Do you remember all she was willing to give? All he was willing to do? Find that again. As a woman, you have the power to recreate that love again. Make that love live again. Like our Mother, with quiet strength. Compassionately, gently, determined. Love is in your hands. Allow love to blossom, to fill your life again with beauty. With a man who understand what it means to be a man. Not some 40 year old boy who spends his days playing video games and nights getting drunk with his buddies only to use you as an orifice or a punching bag. That’s the fool you throw out the door. Put his crap on the porch and tell him don’t come back until you grow the hell up. All is in the hands of a woman. All is created or destroyed by a woman. With all that power, what world have you created?

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Dust Off Your Fairy Wings!

Well, let the twinkie fest begin. As I suspected, it wouldn’t be long before the idiots, dumb asses and flying ass monkeys stepped up to prove, with no question, exactly how lost they really are. The chosen few, in their minds at least, who swear they know it all and want to puke all they know in everyone’s faces. Are we having fun yet? We're about to.

For five years I lived with the White and the Black. I did so honorably, never once selling out or putting on the Indian Show. Folks would ask me all the time, “are you going to wear your indian clothes?”. I'm dressed, ain’t I? Got clothes on, and I'm Native. No, they want feathers and leather, woo wooing around a bon fire. They want some celestial wisdom from the great beyond imparted upon them.

I admit I pissed off a whole lot of folks in the five years I spent doing what I was asked, not what I assumed. I never gave credibility to the twisted half baked delusions some brought to me. White folks who couldn’t find their collective asses if they used both hands and a road map. If true spiritual understanding jumped up and bit them in the ass they wouldn’t recognize it. I was never afraid to call bullshit when I smelled it. Relentless, merciless with those who insisted on attempting to infect me with their bliss bunny delusions. I wasn’t sent there to hold anyone's hand. I was sent as the foot in the ass. I didn’t have the answers, only questions. All I could do was point the direction. It was up to each individual to find their way to the truth. That box of answers. As it was up to each individual to open that box, and deal with what was inside. Many times I told many people, I will assist you, but I will not help you.

For whatever reason. Grandfather has removed the protection that was with those two Sacred Animals. Nothing these penis chopping man haters in white robes and twig tiaras will ever do will get it back. The last time I was with them the Ancestors closed the door. Now some looney tunes is hanging robes and ties everywhere. No direction, no understanding of why, what the colors mean, the numbers. Making the place look like some whacked out Christmas tree. That flying ass monkey is even hanging the color I was given responsibility for. All I can figure is she really misses me. I must have gotten real good to her if she is hanging my colors. I would say thank you but I'm on the effen floor, laughing until it hurts. I would love to see these fools try taking your twisted version out to the Relatives who actually know. Go ahead, I double dog dare you. There is a reason why none of the real Elders and Medicine People, like the ones who came when it was being done right, will have anything to do with you idjits. No traditional Elder or Medicine Person, who truly is, will support their pixie dust sniffing orgy of insanity. Now, they want to “honor the Black Buffalo and reign in the Year of the Woman”. Really? Every year is the year of the woman. The Sacred Feminine never left. Some forgot it and this twisted Amazonian ideology ain’t it.

Let me let you in on a little secret. Something a few dipshits cant seem to get their over inflated egos around. You don’t want to be messing with the Black Buffalo. The White, now he gets your attention. There is a reason the Black is off to the side, acknowledged but not focused on. She is the nail in the coffin. She heralds in the end. She is destruction, devastation, eradication. Some want to do a happy dance for her? Put on funny hats and sing stupid songs? There are faster ways to commit slow suicide.

Some will call me bitter, resentful. Go ahead. You are missing the point. I WANT YOU TO. Pull the pin on that hand grenade. Wait, wait, wait. Let me move OK, now, go right ahead. I'm far enough away and yes, I am laughing my ass off. Five years you wouldn’t listen. Five years Elders and Medicine People from many Nations tried to tell you. Five years, all and more right at the tips of your fingers. But, like petulant self centered children on Christmas, all some could do was trash it, denigrate it. I didn’t want that color. That’s not the one I wanted. Fine. Have it your way. Good luck with are so going to need it.

As I have many friends remaining in the area, I am kept up to date on what is taking place with these two Sacred Animals. The following was sent to me this morning, 7/27/2011:

Dear Ones,
Peaceburgh is so fortunate to be a thriving Community of Unity with
increasing occassions for transformational events that promote unity, joy
and expanding consciousness of our muli-dimensional Being and divine

I am so moved to share this next event with you: the 4th birthday of the
Sacred Black Buffalo, "Thunder" who is the female counterpart to
"Lightning," the Sacred White (male) Buffalo. See details on the attached

The event will be at Nemacolin Resort, Farmington, PA 15437, at the Millioke
Meadows (near the golf course), from 10a-5p.

It will also be a time of celebrating the return of the sacred feminine and
the year of healing for women, as we honor this sacred animal with song,
dance, drum and creating prayer ties.

Children are welcome.

Bringing your own water and snacks is suggested.

Hope to see you there!

In joy and unity,

Now, I haven't corrected the spelling or grammar. The language of the “invitation” says everything. I have met the person who wrote this and I can say with no hesitation, this creature epitomizes a blissed out love and light spewing crystal twinkie. Talking to her left me needing a shower to get the pixie dust off. White people messing with things they have no understanding of. Power their feeble minds could never comprehend. There isn’t a Native person among them. Everything I fought against, protected those two Sacred Animals from, brought to bear from the local community of wack-a-loons. Dust of your fairy wings! Its chanting time! I don’t want to be in the same zip code with these fools when they start opening those doors. Can you imagine whats just waiting to come through from the other side? The power that was with the White Buffalo is no longer there. When the powers that think they are evicted any and all First Nations representatives and culture, that power jumped to Texas. Did anyone not make the connection? Within days of their actions, that little calf was born. Do I need to get my crayons? Now, the lets play Indians want to open the door on what the Black Buffalo represents. Flip the switch on the medicine she carries. Maybe that's the point. Maybe that is why Grandfather removed everything. Go ahead fools, rewire that nuclear bomb. When it goes off, look for the nearest mirror to find someone to blame.